Jesus and His Girl
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Kids in Pain
A friend of mine is having trouble with her 14 year old daughter being emotionally bullied at her middle school. My heart broke for the mom and the kid, and I asked the mom if she was interfering at all. She said absolutely not; she and her husband pour into their daughter and love her and encourage her, hoping that by doing so they've given her the tools to cope with pain. HOW ADMIRABLE! I remember a counselor friend of mine telling me when we were going through the divorce, that it's every mom's temptation to shelter their children from pain, anger, fear, or sadness. And yet by doing so we're denying them the chance to practice how to deal with those things...especially while they're still in the safety of our home and care, rather than as adults in the real world and dealing with it for the first time. It's so hard to see our kids hurt, but especially now that my kids are bigger I'm trying to let them learn to deal with disappointment rather than rescue them from it...Danny Silk (pastor who did a really good parenting series on teaching your children to make good choices without our help!) calls it the "helicopter mom," hovering hovering hovering... leaving our kids to their own devices --- as long as theyr'e not in any danger of course--- is easier said than done!
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1 comment:
I think it depends on your child and if they have the ability to deal with wahtever situation it is. 14 yr olds can for the msot part, but when my 6 yr old was being bullied at the bust stop I tried to let it go, but she couldn't handle the situation. Usually as kids get older, they'd rather die than have mom "go talk to someone" anyway! LOL! There are many times that I let my kids suffer the consequences of their actions, even if I could have prevented the situation. They need to learn responsibility and to experience the repercussions of their actions.
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