chicago

I love love love going to the city. Don't want to live there but love to visit. Took the girls one day this week over spring break to the Navy Pier children's museum, EXCELLENT place to go for only $8 a person, really not bad considering all there is to do there. Tried to put in some pics of the funnest (raincoats for the "water room," I mean what kid wouldn't love that?!) but even after disabling my pop up blocker it won't let me. Sooooo I'll just let you guys use your imaginations and maybe in another 5 years or so I'll figure out how to do pics, links, and other cool blog stuff that right now I just get warnings about on my screen when I try to do them:)

death and dying

Today is the first anniversary of my "step" dad Rob's death. My grandma Bair has battled cancer for almost 2 decades and is almost ready to move on to the next world. My grandma Bennett has recently started chemo for ovarian cancer. Sucks sucks sucks. The following is an excerpt from my journal in an attempt to remember Robbie on this day:

"Robby died of a massive coronary last Wednesday at the age of 49. I got a call from mom at work that I needed to meet her and Billy at the hospital. I was first to arrive, so they took me into a conference room (No, God, tell me we don't need a conference room) with the hospital chaplain (No, God, tell me we don't need a chaplain). Some cold little woman named Dr. Brown came in and told me his heart had stopped, they'd tried everything they could to get it going again but they couldn't, he was gone already. Nice. The universe apparently doesn't think Jenny has a breaking point...
Four hours (or four months?) later we went home to tell my kids. Fuck. I'm not normally super vulgar; I attempt to use my vocabulary to uplift and edify. But Fuck. I now get to go home and tell my 8 year old autistic child and my 5 year old drama queen that their crappy year of abandonment by the men in their lives isn't over yet. 'Remember when little Zoe's grandma died last year and even though we were so sad for us we were happy for her? Well, and this'll sound a little (little?!) scary and sad but it's ok: Papa Rob had a very bad accident at work today that hurt his heart and head, and he died. Today. At work. Yes we were at the hospital. No he's not hurting. It'll be ok.' Or something like that."
The good news is, there's a victory that comes with a one year anniversary of surviving something tragic; a sense of accomplishment. We made it. We miss you and love you like crazy Robbie, but we made it. And we're happy FOR YOU...

Baseball

Let the angels rejoice maybe this LONG ASS WINTER will eventually end after all. I'm talking spring training here people, and there is no greater joy for a Cubs fan than to have a Mesa, Arizona spring training game on the tv on a friday afternoon while it's 29 degrees here in the ol' midwest. Please God, please let it get warm soon...Wrigley Field misses me...

Ideas

My mom recently saw a show on cute ideas to do with kids. One was to make a bunch of blue jello and fill ziplock baggies with it and gummy fish, tie the baggie with fishing line and a plastic spoon and use it as a goodie bag at birthday parties! Another was to use paper towel rolls and plaster of paris with food coloring to make big sidewalk chalk. How cute is that?! I'm not crafty when it comes to that kind of stuff...

Cute kids

Ok, I know everyone thinks they're kids are cute (what kind of mommy doesn't?!) but I'm so proud of mine as they get older. I was a young 22 when I had my first baby girl, and 25 when I had my 2nd. Now they're 9 and 6, big and healthy and happy. We struggle with the single parent thing some days, and Skylar's autism makes school difficult. But I wouldn't trade this season of my life for anything; my girls make me laugh, play, and remember what's important. And Hannah got her EARS PIERCED YESTERDAY!!!!!!!! What a big girl! I've said before all moms love their kids...but not all moms love motherhood. I LOVE BEING A MOM. It's hard and scary and totally fun all at the same time:)