About Me

I am a crazy woman, funny and carefree but type A and anal all at the same time. I have two daughters and a Father who's a King...what more do I need?! My goal on this planet is to help His bride: literally (I plan weddings for a living!) and spiritually (I occasionally offer words of wisdom to loved ones...) Bless us all on this journey!

Jesus and His Girl

Jesus and His Girl

Thursday, May 17, 2007

No Boys Allowed (or needed?)

ok girlfriends, i'm giving bethany the day off and i'll do the controversy for once. sex toys and christians. how's that?! on my blog last week i was posting about my grandma dying and having to go through her stuff, and a girlfriend mentioned there were certain places in her bedroom that only her one relative is allowed to clean out; she and i had had that conversation b4 and laughed. here's how it started: a few years back there were a group of us girls from church (u remember who u are!) who were invited to some sex toy parties. VERY ENLIGHTENING! and while all i bought for me and dave was a book and some lotion stuff, i did leave the party feeling..."educated" about things i hadn't known b4! the funny part was, when i returned home with the girlfriend i'd gone with, the husbands laughed and said "cool, our wives are buyin porn!!!" (disclaimer: it was NOT PORN, and the sales consultant knew we were all married monogamous christians who were just...um...broadening our horizons! the husbands were pleased nonetheless). so now i'm single, and have been asked by...um...certain girlfriends...how i'm...um...taking care of things. God bless concerned girlfriends!!!!!!!!!!! what do you guys think? Discuss...................... (this should be good..........................)


Mrs. Sara said...

Uh oh.

I'm not sure Dan would like me discussing this in public.


Oh well, I'm gonna. I just won't be too specific.

Let's just say that we have a "no replacement" rule. We believe that a healthy sex life between married people should involve both people at all times. Married sex is not a solo gig, if you catch my drift. ;) And if a toy performs the function that the spouse should be performing, it is off limits for us. I guess that means that if we could theoretically use the toy all alone, without the spouse, then it is not something we find appropriate. So no fake body parts at the Carter house. ;)

BUT BUT BUT there are things that merely "enhance" the experience we have while we're together (and don't replace the function of either partner) that we are okay with.

And no, I will not share a list of those things.

At least not on a public blog.


Tammy said...

Jennifer, I remember when you were like 8 and so when I read this post I was just like OMG!! You kids.....LOL! I guess I just always have seen you as so reserved; this cracked me up. I will choose not to join in the discussion...I am really modest I guess. I never have and never will talk about my personal sex life with anyone other than my husband. But you guys go ahead and have fun with that.....lol!!

Elizabeth F. said...

Well, this certainly is an interesting topic! he..he.. I guess I agree with Sara about the "no replacement" rule, but there are toys, lotions, books, clothing, etc...that can certainly spice up the sex life of a husband and wife. I think anything that can help you enjoy one another more is good, but anything that could lead your mind astray is not a good idea.

As for single people, I'm sure the moral answer is that toys are not ok, probably because they can lead to inappropriate, lustful thoughts, etc... But, if the toys can help you to remain abstinent physically then I guess they are an option just for relief. But, I guess the bigger question is if you must remain abstinent in your thought life as well as your body. If that is the case, then I guess singles must carry that cross until they wed. I dunno. Did that make any sense? So, I guess what I'm saying is I just don't know. LOL!

Mrs. Sara said...

Just a thought, many would say that remaining abstinent would also mean not masturbating.

Or maybe that's just chastity.

BRB, I'm gonna figure it out.

Mrs. Sara said...

Okay, so as I understand it, abstinence can pretty much mean anything you want it to. You can refrain for ALL sexual activity and call yourself abstinent, or do "everything but the deed" and still claim abstinence.

It doesn't technically have any specific moral or religions connotations.

Chastity, however, is definitely a moral/religious idea, and it's a condition not only of the body, but also of purity of mind. And many suggest that masturbation is an enemy of chastity.

So I guess any discussion we have should take those two words into consideration. "Abstinence" and "chastity" are definitely two different ideas.

Mrs. Sara said...

So what I'm saying is that masturbation is not chaste, but masturbation may still mean you're being abstinent, depending on your definition of abstinence.

Jenny W said...

ok well with that food for thought, here goes! dave and i never used "replacement media" either; his philosophy was, if i could use that then i didn't need him, and that actually kinda hurt his feelings. so that stuff was...unnecessary! now that i'm on the single end i've decided (for me, certainly not across the board) that a husband is worth waiting for; i'd rather have the real thing than a...um..."mechanical substitute." how's that for good ol' fashioned christian bloggin :) (having said that, what the hell i'll take it a step further so you can all feel sorry for me: the husband's been gone over 3 years. yeah. let the praying begin girlfriends!)

Elizabeth F. said...

I can't even imagine how I'd deal with that one! I'll pray for you...

I guess abstinence is kinda conencted to chastity in my mind, so that's why I used the word abstain in that context. I guess to me, abstaining from all physical and mental sexual thoughts would be the ideal goal.

But, with that said, we are all human. :-)

Jenny W said...

well and there is a trick to it. there are certain things i don't watch on tv (even people kissing). there are songs i don't listen to. it's a "renewal of your mind" thing. and it's somewhat easier b/c i've only ever been w/ one person so sex is already "set aside" in my mind, it's not automatically something i'd think about with just anyone...

Elizabeth F. said...

you're lucky!

Anonymous said...

wow...welcome to Jenny's blog. LMAO! I haven't stopped by here before and we'll...I'm sure I'll be back :) I don't have a lot of time to comment on the subject, but I will definately have to agree with what everyone has said. Sara has been able to get to know me in a whole new way since she got engaged. LOL! I was her "token dirty bridesmaid" I bought her inappropriate presents. Said slurs of inappropriate things the entire weekend of her wedding. I was 29 when I got married. I repeat....29 YEARS I waited to have sex. It was not the easiest time of my life let me tell you. My husband was the first "boy" I ever kissed and I have ever intention of him being the last. I went years without it before and I'm pretty sure I could do it again, if I had too, but thankfully I don't. I believe that God gave us sex as a gift. I don't see a problem with having fun with it within the realms of marriage. My catholic mother and mother-in-law went to "lover's package" and bought us a tin of "inappropriate" gifts for our honeymoon. LMAO! Man I would pay good money to see the security cameras from that trip! LMAO! Apparently our mom's bought a little something for themselves too.....I don't even want to imagine. Still don't think it's wrong, but don't need to know what my parents sex toys are *PUKE*