When I was in middle school my mom worked 3-11's so we were home alone after school for literally the whole afternoon and night, and I hated it. But my kids love the idea of being home alone, and because they're only in 3rd grade and 5th grade we limit it; but because of single mom working (just like my mom was) the schedule dictates that they are alone for 30 minutes twice a week til I get home. They love it! There are lots of rules for safety of course, and phonenumbers in case of an emergency, etc etc. Well for the first time we've been faced with the idea of the oldest home totally alone, for about an hour and a half, and she's totally excited she's big enough to be trusted with something this huge. Of course mommy's less excited. And yet I was babysitting OTHER PEOPLE'S kids by 6th grade, so I'm preparing her (and me!) for that by allowing her small amounts of freedom, little by little. What do you guys think? Is eleven too young?
7 comments:
I don't have an 11 year old, so I don't know. I guess it totally depends on the child. But if you think they are ready that's all that matters.
well it totally seems too young to me, like when i read "3rd grade and 5th grade" it seems absurd to leave children that small alone to themselves! and yet middle school is less than a year away, and when i was in middle school i babysat three little boys every single friday night, while their parents went bowling. made $12 each time. $12 a week is a lot when you're 12 years old and don't have to buy gas yet or anything:) so i guess i'm trying to gradually allow her chances to prove her ability to be independent--even if i'm not ready for it!
I think the determination is normally based on the maturity of the child....which, in your case would be at your discretion. One time, a sitter just left my kids alone and Angela,the oldest, was 10. I reported it and was told there was nothing that could be done because a 10 year old is possibly mature enough to care for themselves and others. Okay, so at 10 Angela is old enough to care for herself and her siblings...YAY, I no longer have to pay a sitter...NOT!! Leaving her alone at 10 especially in charge of her siblings seemed crazy to me! I'm certain your two girls are much less wild then my 3 kids were...lol.
In your case, I would probably let at least one neighbor know and other than that wouldn't advertise it. There are some nutso's in this world and unfortunately they can be among us without us being aware. Please know this is not said to scare you, I just feel that it is something we always need to keep in mind and consider. There are many sex offenders and child predators in the Valpo area. Outside of family, and trustworthy friends and neighbors, the less who know she/they are alone the better and safer.
In other words...you might want to delete this post. I know we don't think anything will ever happen to "us", but Jen that is one of the things offenders count on.
Goodluck and many prayers as you learn and go through the "letting go" process...SCAREY!!
PS...if I have been totally out of line with what I have said please feel free to say so!! Like this: Shut-up Tammy LOL.
no no tammy you're totally not out of line, i purposely edited this several times before i even posted it to make sure i wasn't mentioning certain days or anything specific or where we live or anthing about or schedule! as for neighbors there is one girl i'm very good friends with, she's actually the one the kids are supposed to run to in our "fire plan" that the schools have families do now, she's our meeting place in case of an emergency, etc. i also have the map with the "red dots" of sex offenders saved on my computer and i check it REGULARLY. my fear is that i may be TOO paranoid and shelter my children too much, which is actually one of the reasons i went ahead with this post!! is there such a thing as too much paranoia these days? is there any way to even have an answer for that?
I never had any paranoia when my kids were really young and I should have. I had no one to guide me and I was very clue-less concerning some things. Now, they tell me, I go overboard and I worry way too much!
yes, i get accused of being way too over-protective of my two for how big they are. i guess i feel like they've been through so much (divorce and two deaths in 3 years!) i over compensate by doing too much for them?! and the oldest especially just. wants. to be big. didn't we all at that age?!
In our state it is illegal to leave a child under the age of 12 unattended at home. Seems like a good rule to me.
Annette
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