Home Sweet Home

Prayer Request Alert! I've been researching my options as far as selling my house and getting an apartment, or refinancing, etc to lower my monthly payments at home. Some serious financial changes are set to occur in November for me and the girls and I'm just trying to be wise about how to handle it all. Well...miraculously came across this mortgage guy who got me preapproved for a refi that I could afford, no out-of-pocket, nothing shady. Then he calls me this morning and says oops, maybe not, I need to have had my business for at least two years, etc. Now he's asking for a co-signer. This was not ever part of the discussion! So back to the drawing board as far as me asking for wisdom about my options, asking for my business to be successful enough quickly enough that I don't even have to worry about it, for the mortgage guy to find a lender who will take a chance on me after all, etc. The girls and I are fine for now, and of course my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills so I now we will continue to be... I just want to make the right decisions!

Confrontation and Riding Offense

Or riding "a fence," whichever you prefer because both apply here. Between Danny Silk's Culture of Honor stuff we've been studying at church this last year, and learning to navigate the waters of really, really being hurt and how do I properly as a Christian deal with that, here's what I've decided. It's easier for me to be offended, and tell everyone in the world about who has hurt me... but never go to that person kindly and in love to tell them they've hurt me and we need to fix it. That's unfair in several unhealthy ways: unfair to the person who hurt me because they're now being gossiped about. Unfair to me because the person who hurt me won't stop hurting me if I never tell them they've hurt me. Unfair to the listeners of the "woe is me story" because there's no resolution so they're now in the middle of a story with no end.

I bring all this up because I had an instance this weekend where I was really hurt and offended by someone I love and who loves me. I had the choice between going to my mom and sister and friends first to say "Guess what so and so did to me", or going to that person as the source of the pain and saying "Hey you hurt me and I know you didn't mean to but it hurt anyway so can we please fix it." Well, I took the second option and BOY DID THAT PHONECALL SUCK. But you know what? Having come from a family of people with either tempers or passive-agressive silent treatments, I was so RELIEVED when the phonecall was over to have dealt with it. Now instead of things being weird with this cousin everything's fine, and Satan can't hold that spirit of offense over me anymore.

Small victory but big rewards!

5th Grade?

Yesterday was the first day of school, my kiddos are now in 3rd and 5th. I of course am not nearly old enough to have children that age (lol) yet somehow Parkview Elementary tells me that's where Skylar (almost 11) and Hannah (8) should indeed be. So... in spite of their assurances that they did NOT want to go back to school, the girls were up and dressed way before I was yesterday! They also went out to wait for the bus about 25 minutes early, bustling with the anticipation of seeing long lost friends. Of course their dorky mother took pictures and--yes--cried when they got on the bus..."geez mom." Because in spite of the fact that Skylar started leaving me at the age of THREE, on a bus, to go to SELF school every day for developmental preschool, I'm in denial that my children are capable of functioning without my advice for 7 hours or so each and every day. Sniff sniff...

Ay...Boo-Boo?

I love old cartoons. Yogi Bear, the Flintstones, Woody Woodpecker. We watched a couple of episodes of Tom and Jerry tonight, and there's nothing like a mouse pulling a stick of dynamite out of his butt and hurling it toward his feline nemesis to end the work week. I also love the fact that when they're happy they walk with their eyes closed. Ever notice that? Or when they get hurt and the bump grows on their head into a big triangle? Ahhh...they don't make em like that anymore... What are your favorites?

Fatigue Syndrome, Baseball Style

Yawn, I say. Double yawn. Thought I was tired Monday after the storm?! This past weekend I did a wedding AND Hannah's golden birthday (8 on 8/8/08). Geez Louise I for real may never recover. So much fun decorating and planning-- but within a 13 hour period went from decorating in greens and calla lillies for the wedding, to switching gears into red roses with black and white color theme for Hannah's party. We had a limo come surprise her (I gotta guy in Kouts who gave me a deal...very cool mommy I must say!) and drove her and her friends to a gymnastics pizza party, then home for backyard presents and cake. Yeah. Then I worked the next day. So here's the funny part: I'm a H U G E baseball fan and heard on a game yesterday some pitcher was on the 15 day DL for "fatigue syndrome." WHAT THE HELL? I'm a mommy who's constantly suffering from fatigue syndrome; not only do I not get 15 days off of anything, but I also don't have the $2 million a year salary this guy does. G E E Z

Sky Splitter

Of course you've all heard by now (or you experienced first hand!) the storms Monday night. It was like the Wrath of God hit the skies of northwest Indiana and decided to break them open. It was like WW2 bombers were releasing their cargo in my backyard. I've never heard thunder, never seen lightning, never had it LAST SO LONG as this storm that hit this week. For the first hour or so it was a novelty; the first bad sweep had gone through and knocked a tree down over my street, taking wires with it. So the electricity was out, the candles were on, and at one "calm" point all the neighbors were out in the road with their flashlights, comparing stories. This sense of adventure went sour though, and after 7 HOURS of lightning so bad I was afraid of the strobe effect leading to seizures for Skylar (not an unjustified paranoia for those of you who know her history,) the electricity finally came on at 3am and we were at least able to turn the air and some fans on to block out some of the noise. With that the girls finally fell asleep...to wake up 5 hours later and come to the store for the day! I'm so tired this week I may never recover:)

Victors

Are you the type that wants to be rescued? When circumstances get bad you cry for the cavalry to charge in? I do, and am sorely disappointed when the cavalry never arrives! But I learned a lesson (correction: am learning a lesson!) from a 3 year old little girl at the Y last Sunday night, at the parenting class our church is offering the public. (That of course I"m helping to run!!) This little cutie had never been to the nursery before, and SCREAMED for mommy. Mommy warned us this might happen, and after 10 minutes or so daddy couldn't stand it anymore and started to leave his seat and go get the child. "Please. Just 5 more minutes. She can do it," mom whispered. This was SO uncomfortable for the other people trying to watch the DVD we were showing, hard on the nursery workers, and hard on the little girl!!! B U T. After another 5 minutes that little girl started to interact with the other kids, started to sing some songs in the circle, and started to interact with the other workers in the room. An HOUR AND A HALF later when that sweet little thing was released to her parents, she ran to her mom and squealed "I did it mommy! I did it!"

This moment was HUGE for me. Why doesn't my Heavenly Father rescue me? Doesn't he hear me crying? Doesn't He see how little strength I have left? OF COURSE HE DOES. But oh how He'll rejoice with me, at the end of this situation and every crappy situation after, when I'm able to run to him in victory and cry "I did it Daddy, I did it!"