About Me

I am a crazy woman, funny and carefree but type A and anal all at the same time. I have two daughters and a Father who's a King...what more do I need?! My goal on this planet is to help His bride: literally (I plan weddings for a living!) and spiritually (I occasionally offer words of wisdom to loved ones...) Bless us all on this journey!

Jesus and His Girl

Jesus and His Girl

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Playing the Game

In spite of the title, this post will not talk about the political game of Bush-bashing (I know you all are surprised). Nor will it talk about the Cubs games that, in case you live in a cave and don't know, get better every day and have them with the best record in the National League and are their Division Champs. No, the game I'm referring to is the dating game. That's a fun post! I have lots of guys that I hang out with, or have hung out with since the divorce. I had one actual relationship that lasted about 7 months, have guy friends that I talk to or who come visit me at the store (hi Bryan and Eric!), have guys that I liked that didn't like me or said they did but never called (Mike and Rick), several that I've dated once or twice, and one that I liked a lot and dated a couple of times and then he just quit calling. Seriously. Just quit.

Soooo.... here are a couple of rules I've learned so far. If a guy calls right away the next day after a date, he's in a hurry to get to the next date. Sometimes too much of a hurry. If a guy says "Come over so I can cook for you" he really means he's ready to make out. If a guy says he'd like to go out in a group, he's really saying he's ready for his friends to meet you so they can tell him later if they think you're hot or not. Just to name a few examples!

So now I'm in the situation of yet another guy that I've only been out with twice and it's been with another couple, but he does have my number now and we're in the middle of the countdown "how many days til he calls?" (FYI it's been three days and, in my experience, three to five days seems to be the rule). So it's that ambiguous period where, if anyone asks if you're in a relationship you say no. If anyone asks if you're seeing anyone you still say no, but there's a "No, but..." If anyone asks you if you've dated anyone lately you say yes, but it's a "Yes, but." Oy!

Any weird dating "rules" you guys ever had to learn along the way?


Elizabeth F. said...

Well, I don't know if this is strictly a dating rule or just a man rule...I've been struggling with this lately or at least thinking about it. Us strong women sometimes make the mistake of appearing too strong. Too in control of our lives. Too perfect, almost unnattainable. Maybe men think they won't measure up to our high expectations. So strong that we don't "need" men. Men need to be needed and sometimes even if we don't need them, we need to make them feel like we do. I have always thought being strong would be an attractive quality, but for men I think it takes away from them feeling masculine, in control and the protector/provider. So...maybe us strong gals just need to play the game and seem a little helpless sometimes. :-) Then maybe we can attract strong men who want to be in the take charge role instead of the ones who let us do everything and make all of the decisions. (By "we" I mean all the single girls...not me!)

Mrs. Sara said...

I'm not sure I have any good "dating" rules, as I only dated one man in my life, and I knew on the second date that I was going to marry him. (And don't worry, he knew the same thing!) But anyway, what we count as our "first" date actually wasn't an intentional date. I caught wind that Dan was interested in me (thanks to that wonderful meddler, Jeremy Schering), so I threw a dinner party for all my friends and invited him so I could get to know him better. Well, apparently my friends knew what was up and everyone jetted out right after dinner... except Dan! We made an evening of it by renting a movie (The Producers) and I made some cookies for us. I'm pretty sure that's what sold him on me... he loves cookies, and he loved that I got a kick out of a Mel Brooks movie! :) Anyway, a few nights later, we had "the" night where you stay up until 5 AM and talk about everything, and I was sold!

I agree with what Elizabeth said to a point. I don't think we necessarily have to PRETEND to be helpless, but it can help to learn to rely on someone else. I think my husband thinks it's cute when I can't open a stuck jar or reach something on a high shelf. ;) And he seems to really enjoy carrying heavy items for me since I'm pregnant. Sigh, he makes my heart flutter. ;)

Jenny W said...

i've been told by older male relatives i'm one of those damn women's libbers:) i always chalked that sentiment up to the fact that these family members are just from a different generation. and yet i also question whether my marriage (dave hated it when i was needy because he didn't know what to do with me!) taught me i have to be strong and independent. of course i'm pretty independent by nature so perhaps all men who date me are doomed!
p.s. ty called after 3 days...so my hypothesis about the 3-5 day rule stands so far...:)